Dating her best friend

You rightly point out that choosing to say nothing will loom larger and get weirder as their relationship progresses.

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"That's all," by the way, means no comment on his thoughtlessness (or her marital-desperation blindness, ahem) because their actions and feelings and relationship are theirs.

Yours become relevant only when you're asked, and even then, you speak only of and for yourself.

Dear Carolyn, One of my best girlfriends (we're in our 40s and 50s) has started dating a former lover of mine.

Because I'm a private person, my friends possibly knew of him — I'm single — but didn't press for details.

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